A direct answer to this question can only be given after consideration of some very important issues. A man who becomes an alcoholic or consumes alcohol regularly enough to get intoxicated is a fool. A man who resorts to beating a woman is full of hate and is also a fool. The one who does both is an absolute fool.

In the Dhammapada the Buddha says that it is better to live alone rather than to live with a fool. This is because frequent association of a fool will only bring forth unwholesome qualities within you. Hence you will never progress in the right direction.

However, human beings very easily look at others and pass judgment on them and rarely look at themselves. Again in the Dhammapada the Buddha declares "look not to the faults of others, their omissions or commissions, but rather look at your own actions, at what you have done and left undone".

These two pieces of advice of the Buddha should form the basis for the decision with regard to the above question. Therefore before passing judgment on the husband and coming to conclusions, the wife should first take a good look at herself.

A wife must first clearly comprehend whether she has been a good wife or a bad wife. In this regard the Buddha declares that there are seven types of wives in this world. The following are the seven :

1. There is a wife who hates her husband, would prefer to kill him if she could, is not obedient, is not loyal, does not guard the husband’s wealth. Such a wife is called a ‘Killer wife’.

2. There is a wife who does not guard her husband’s wealth, scrounges and wastes his wealth, is not obedient and is not loyal to him. Such a wife is called a ‘Robber wife’.

3. There is a wife who behaves like a tyrant, cruel, oppressive, domineering, is disobedient, not loyal and does not guard the husband’s wealth. Such a wife is called a ‘Tyrant wife’.

4. Then there is the wife who sees her husband like the way the mother sees her son. Looks after all his needs, safeguards his wealth, is loyal and is devoted to him. Such a wife is called a ‘Motherly wife’.

5. Then there is also a wife who looks up to her husband like the way she looks up to her elder sister. Respects him, is obedient and humble, safeguards his wealth and is loyal to him. Such a wife is called a ‘Sisterly wife’.

6. Then there is the wife who when she sees her husband, it is as if two friends have met after a long time. She is humble, obedient, loyal and safeguards his wealth. Such a wife is called a ‘Friendly wife’.

7. Then there is also the wife who serves her husband at all times in every way without complaint, bears up shortcomings of the husband, if any, in silence, is obedient, humble, loyal and safeguards his wealth. Such a wife is called an ‘Attendant wife’.

These are the seven types of wives found in the world. Of them, the first three types (the Killer, the Robber and the Tyrant wife) lead a life of unhappiness here and now and at death is born in a place of torment [i.e., the animal world, the world of prethas (ghosts) and demons, asuras and the realm of hells.]

The other four types of wives, that is the Motherly, Sisterly, Friendly and the Attendant wife lead a life of happiness here and now and at death is born in a place of happiness [i.e., divine worlds or human world].

The wife should therefore very critically investigate herself and realize what category of wife she would fall into. If the conclusion is that she belongs to one of the first three, then it is obvious that she must change first before she can come to any conclusions about her husband. This is above all for her own welfare.

If the wife belongs to the four good categories, then to be married to a drunkard and a wife beater is really a very exceptional situation, probably bound up in that situation by kamma (past intentional actions).

If after being a good wife as above, yet the husband continues to be an alcoholic and a wife beater (which situation would be quite exceptional and rare) the wife must then make a decision whether to continue to live with him or separate. You should certainly not live for the worse. That must be understood as a situation where unwholesome qualities keep arising in the mind often (i.e., anger, enmity, fear, hatred etc.). If this is the experience, as a result of living together, then it is better to separate wishing the husband well. This is because as earlier stated in the Dhammapada, "it is better to live alone than to live with a fool, like the way an elephant lives alone in the forest" or "like the king who leaves his kingdom and goes to the forest". This decision may be necessary, for one to develop oneself in the right path for the acquisition of wisdom and ones own liberation from dukka.

On the other hand, if this exceptional situation is borne up through sheer forbearance and compassion, then such a wife is destined to the divine worlds and the supreme happiness, nibbana, because it is inevitable that at some stage in Samsara, sooner than later, having laid the foundation of a compassionate heart sacrifice and forbearance she will acquire wisdom and release from all dukka.

Therefore, in this exceptional situation the wife should observe her state of mind carefully for some time and accordingly make the appropriate decision for her welfare.

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